In Walked Love
by flashpenguin
Summary: Dave Rossi is a lonely man. As he prepares to head back to the BAU, he looks back on his life and realizes love is not meant for him, but Fate has other plans. Possible one-shot.


**_I love to get into Dave Rossi's mind and see what makes this man tick. It's weird because on the outside he seems so easy to read, but deep down inside he appears to me as a very complicated and conflicted man. And why not since he is, after all, a MAN! This is an insight to his feelings about being lonley at certain points in his life and although he cut love out of his heart, he couldn't stop his mind from dreaming up that one special person. In a nutshell, it's just my take on Dave's first meeting with the team and a big "what if?" I hope you enjoy. _**

**_Song prompt: "In Walked Love" by Expose_**

**_I don't own Criminal Minds._**

**In Walked Love**

David Rossi was a lonely man. However, he would never admit it. Not to anyone. Not even to himself.

Maybe he wasn't lonely in the conventional sense of the word- he had money, fame, notoriety, houses, cars, and a dog…everything a man could want in one lifetime. Nevertheless, there was something missing. Uh, scratch that…someone was missing.

Okay, so he had been married three times…a fate he couldn't escape no matter how hard he tried. However, that didn't mean he hadn't feel something for his wives. He loved them as well as he could, but there was always something missing. Something he could never put his finger on.

He didn't understand how it could be. He had been raised in a loving family who doted on their only son. He was allowed to do what he wanted with who he wanted so long as he went to church with the family, took his Sacrament, showed up for dinner, and never brought shame to the family.

They had never said anything about his running with the Gambino Family -what could they say? He wasn't out killing people, running drugs, or staying out late at night. He actually finished school early so he could work for the family full time. His job was simple: he picked up cash from one business and delivered it to the accountant. One percent may not have seemed like much, but to a sixteen year old, it was as though he had won the lottery.

Lord knew he could have gone down the road of corruption and crime…he loved the power and the money, and there was no doubt he could have gone far. But deep down inside, that wasn't who he was or who his parents had raised. It was nothing they said, but he could tell they were disappointed in him. That alone tore at his conscience. They never asked him to be anything other than a good kid.

God bless his father. If ever there was a great man who walked the earth, it was Anton Joseph Rossi…and Dave loved him. When Anton had heard the route Dave was heading down, he took him aside and made three requests: 1) He didn't want any of the money Dave was collecting- in his eyes it was blood money and it did not belong in the Rossi house. 2) Dave was to never do anything that would make his mother cry. 3) If God ever presented an opportunity for Dave to escape Commack, he was to take it. No ifs, ands, or buts. Dave agreed. But then when it came to his father, Dave would have walked on hot coals.

So, he left Commack and joined the Marines. He wanted to give back to his family a little of what they spent to raise him. He arranged to have a portion of his pay withheld every two weeks and deposited in his father's bank account. It wasn't much, but it was a start. It helped his dad buy his first new car.

From there all he wanted was to do better and make more money to help his family. Of course, the incentive was there to help himself, too. It was no secret that David Rossi was a bit of a narcissist; he knew he was good looking, and charming, and capable of going far. It was just a matter of laying plans and striking while the iron was hot.

After his first marriage failed, the rich plum called the FBI landed in his lap. And he grabbed it with both hands. He had always wanted to be a G-Man and catch the bad guys…an irony that didn't escape him because he almost became one of the bad guys he helped hunt down.

He loved every minute of it. Carrying a badge, a gun, and wearing a suit to work was every little boy's dream come true. Accolades, awards, and commendations started piling up and with it came the women. Hot, beautiful, sexy women who wanted one thing: Him, and he was more than eager to fill their request.

Days of hunting bad guys, interviewing kidnappers, serial killers were followed by nights in the bed of a woman or women- depending on the moment -learning techniques that helped solidify his reputation as a lothario.

Eager to please and hot to trot, but even David Rossi had his line in the sand: married women. Twice Dave had been fooled by a woman who swore she was single only to let it slip afterward that she was definitely married.

Ironically, it was one of his lovers' husbands who brought Dave's secret bed-hopping life-style out into the open. _Shit!_ Barely covered how he felt. From that moment on, he made sure that he knew all there was about every woman who worked at the FBI before he jumped into bed with one.

To say that he was surprised when he popped the question a second time would be an understatement. But what the hell, he thought he was older and wiser this go around. Plus, his mother was increasing her noises about grandchildren. He liked children well enough, and if God should choose bless him with a rug-rat, then who was he to say no to the Big Man?

However, children didn't happen. Unfortunately, happiness didn't happen either. So, he threw himself into his job. It was the mid eighties and terrorism was on the rise, as were kidnappings and serial killings. Sometimes the FBI allowed airplane rides to most of the cities looking for FBI assistance. But mostly he spent long hours driving from one place to another. With nothing but time on his hands his brain began to write to entertain himself when radio reception was poor or only AM country stations came in.

Long nights were spent in his hotel room looking over case files and trying to make a profile of the perpetrator- or the UNSUB- and trying to close the case. All that hard work lead to him being chosen to start up a new FBI division called the Behavioural Science Unit, which would be a centralized point for cases deemed too extensive and intense for the police and the regular FBI.

It was during this time his wife informed him that she was divorcing him. That didn't hurt as bad as he thought it would; he had tried and failed for the second time. It was her parting words that she was pregnant with her lover's child that cut him deep.

Confession and meetings with his priest kept him from losing his mind. But no amount of prayer could take away the gash she made across his heart. He couldn't help but think this was pay back for all the wrongs he had committed. So he decided to write his thoughts down. While discovering himself, he found his knowledge of crime and criminals were more extensive than even he thought possible. Before he knew it, he was a published author.

The day his divorce came thru was the day his book hit number on the New York Times Best Seller List. It was perhaps the second most bittersweet moment on his life.

The Eighties gave way to the Nineties. Someone had once said that the Nineties would make the Eighties look like the Fifties and they weren't lying. Crack, terrorism, war, cults, eco-terrorism, bombings, school shootings…the list was endless. But nothing compared to Ruby Ridge. He had been there that day when all hell broke loose. It was a long time before he stopped waking up in a cold sweat.

Of course he counted his blessings too soon because a few months later Waco happened. He was on the scene for nearly the whole time the stand down was in effect and had done his best to make sure everything was done by the book. Watching helplessly as the compound burn to the ground with women and children inside it dawned on him that for the second time in his career he mde a strike.

So he wrote another book. It was a crime fiction, and though it was not a national best seller, it sold well enough. It had been a way to release everything inside that he couldn't talk about. Not even the up and coming new agents were anyone he would have confided in- David Rossi was a loner and that's the way he liked it.

Until he met Aaron Hotchner. The up and coming prosecutor turned FBI agent was taken under Dave's wing from day one. Of all the agents at Quantico, Aaron was the only one who came close to being a confidant. Office work led to a bond of friendship between the two men. Aaron looked to the older agent as a father figure and mentor and Dave looked to Aaron as a brother. Dave found himself opening up.

Then Oklahoma City happened. That was the third strike.

Every thing he believed in went out the window the morning the Alfred P Murrah building fell to the ground. As the body count grew, Dave realized that the fire in the belly feeling he had was slowly going out. The next year saw him put in for retirement. He was ready to start over and start fresh.

Another book and another accolade. Book signings, public speeches, late night talk shows and women… It didn't take long to fall back into his old habits. Soon his reputation of being a wild Italian lover began to eclipse this author status. Until she walked into his life.

Wife number three went down as the woman who save his life. For the first time in his life, David Rossi found that marriage could be wonderful and beneficial. He wouldn't go so far as to say he was in love, but he was so close it was scary.

As his marriage and life flourished, so did his writings. He set a record for publishing five books in three years. But what could he say? He was happy.

Then it all went to hell. He never could put his finger on what caused what was so right to go so horribly wrong. For the third time in his life, he licked his wounds in private, picked himself up by his bootstraps, and moved on.

Living life, writing, hunting, book signings, and speaking engagements were now his life. But there was always something missing.

One night out of the blue, he got a call from Aaron Hotchner asking him out to dinner. Jumping at the chance to see his protégé and friend again, Dave spent the evening catching up on the news at the FBI and the new directors on the scene. The BSU had been changed to the BAU and was under the supervision of Erin Strauss. A hard charging agent with a chip on her shoulder, she and Dave had a shared - albeit a brief history.

As the night came to an end, Dave watched as his friend left to go home to his wife and home, while he went home to an empty house and a dog. His life was rich, full, and empty. He was popular and lonely. The hit at parties, but went home alone. He was a walking talking contradiction.

He wanted to fall in love. He wanted what his parents had, what Aaron had, what he had written in his third crime fiction. But he wasn't going to fool himself into thinking that he deserved it, because he wise enough to know that if you thought you deserved something good, you also deserved the bad that went with it.

Until she started haunting his dreams. Night after night, his subconscious brought up images of what he began to address as his dream lover. She made him feel good and brought him release…even if it was only nocturnal. Even if he never met her in real life, she made him feel good. Then one night she went away. He comforted himself with the knowledge that even the best of dreams eventually end.

Out of the blue he received word that Jason Gideon had left the team. Actually if truth be told, Jason Gideon abandoned the team in the cover of darkness- running like the coward Dave knew him to be. Okay, that was a bit harsh, but he had spent too many years working with Jason to know that the man was close to his breaking point no less than three times. The loss of his team had been what drove the unit team leader over the edge. It had only been a matter of time before it all caught up.

Dave held no resentment toward his old friend, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to move in on Jason Gideon's territory. Out with old and in with…well, the old. Okay, but nothing short of death was going to make him betray and abandon his team. Unless it was love. Ha! It was a proven fact that that word was not in his vocabulary- right up there next to team player and faithful.

He passed the initial interview with Erin Strauss and now he was back in the BAU. Tomorrow he would meet the team.

As he greeted Aaron, a cool blonde beauty entered the room. For a quick moment, he felt a twinge of desire when he shook her hand and listened to her fawn over him. He had heard it too many times to be affected by it. Besides, he didn't come back to the FBI to get laid; he had a job to do.

Descending the stairs to meet the rest of the team, he was only paying half attention to his surroundings as Aaron walked in front of him. Then he was on as he heard the introduction: "SSA David Rossi, this is SSA Emily Prentiss."

Then he shook her hand, and he knew.


End file.
